Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
