His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
