i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
