I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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