this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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