I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
