she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
