so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
