It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
