You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
