she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
