Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
