Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
