Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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