So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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