He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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