Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
