how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
