So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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