dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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