The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
