oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
