Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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