sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
