I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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