Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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