I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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