meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
