why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I will pee on everything he values.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
