For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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