his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
