Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
