so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
