he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Sober January is a disaster.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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