I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
