not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
