like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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