Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I deserve this hangover.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
