just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just had sex on a roof
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
