I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I love having hate sex.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
