no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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