I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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