I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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