I wannas sexs uuuuu
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
