I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
