I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
