Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
