walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
