singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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