You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
