I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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