tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
