But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
there's paper in my vomit.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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