is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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